I added a few things to my website today from the zine that I'm releasing on Friday. Plus a couple links to resources and art.
heathrr.ca
here's a thing i wrote about the fact residencies are really hard.
"i want to talk about failure.
the idea of success and failure within the arts really bums me out. but how do we pay artists, train artists, curate artists, if theres no goodbadpassfailrightwrongetc.
i set out on this residency to learn about how disabled and marginalized people make art, document art, research, write, and just the research itself was difficult. tiring.
i’ve written half essays and letters about 100 times but not finishing, i’m careful about my words, so now i’m trying not to be.
digital space is accessible in the sense that you can write anything and read anything as long as you’re capable of doing those things, and have access to the internet.
and zines are accessible in the same way, if you can write about it, and if you have the ability to print and distribute, than you can do it.
so i want to do this and i want to do this write, and make my information accessible, or as accessible as i can.
the problem is that i’m a disabled person myself, and research is tiring. responsibility is terrifying. long term commitments are daunting.
and education is inaccessible at best.
and so my residency didn’t go quite as planned, these are the struggles i’m facing, and i’m starting to realize that this is probably exactly how it should have gone.
my failures are just proof that being a disabled artist is hard. being a disabled student is hard. trying to access these things and do things like residencies, to complete the promises i’ve made.
when art mimics life u kno?
like every project and thing in my life, i’m playing catch up, and getting over my fears, and writing them down instead.
i’m pretty sure thats how you make art, and i’m pretty sure thats how you make zines.
through research i’ve learned that a lot of disabled and marginalized people are absolutely killing it despite the difficulties we all face in our own respects
through research i’ve learned that we’re all struggling different struggles, but in the end we’re all struggling.
my research about struggle has been a struggle.
i knew this would all end in a weird ironic loop."
